Why Me?
by Laheara
Summary: Dylan looks back and remembers, then looks at now, and wonders about the future. Set just after the 2 part series premier.


Hello all. I just joined FF.net tonight. People have said my fics are good and that I should post them here so I guess I will. I would love to hear from you about my stories.  
  
  
  
Title: Why Me?  
Author: Laheara  
Feedback: (heather.lively@ns.sympatico.ca)  
Rating: G  
Summary: Dylan looks back and remembers, then looks at now, and wonders  
about the future.  
Setting: Just after the 2 part premier of the series.  
Disclaimers: You've read these before. I don't own 'em. If I did I  
wouldn't have a student load to pay and I would have already met Kevin  
Sorbo. :) All hail to Master Roddenberry, who's given us some of the  
best Sci-Fi on TV or film. May he rest in peace.  
******  
  
  
I can't believe it. Three hundred years.   
  
We were supposed to go in and sling-shot around the black hole to  
safety, not get caught. I was supposed to make it to slipstream and  
warn the High Guard of the Nietzschean attack.  
  
10 000 ships. I still can't believe it. Granted, that is a large  
fleet, but we had ten times as many ships and personnel and more  
powerful weapons at our control. We should have won! If I hadn't been  
trapped in time I could have stopped it from happening.  
  
No. Andromeda keeps telling me it wasn't my fault. I guess blaming  
myself is a strange form of comfort. Why did I survive and billions of  
others died? Why is my life so important that the universe would give  
me a second chance. I've never done anything that important in my life  
to warrant such treatment and yet, here I am, alive. Alive when  
*everyone* I knew and loved is gone. Why me?  
  
My parents always told me I was destine for great things. They made sure  
I went to all the right schools and were so happy when I joined the High  
Guard. I remembering going home when them in my uniform that day of my  
graduation. My mother couldn't keep her eyes off of it, she was so  
proud. My father was all smiles for the rest of the day. It was sad  
leaving them for my first posting in space, but they urged me on.  
  
I went on alright, and became a captain. Not only a captain by the  
captain of the Andromeda, one of the Commonwealth fleets most well  
constructed ships and most powerful. Line ships were the only ones to  
carry Nova bombs, the most destructive weapons in history. I hit it off  
with Rommie right away, she reminded me of a girl I knew at the  
academy. Andromeda took care of me, I could be myself with her. As the  
captain, I had to keep a calm and controlled front for my crew, but  
with her on the bridge, or talking in my quarters, I could be me. The  
blessings just kept coming is after my posting to Andromeda.  
  
I met Sara. She was so beautiful I couldn't get her out of my mind.   
That long brown hair, those big eyes, her smile, her voice. I knew  
right away we were going to be together forever. Hmm. We *were* going  
to be together forever. Sara. What happened to you? Did you find  
someone else? Did you wait for me? I wish I knew, I wish I could find  
a way to know for sure, but I can't.   
  
I can't be sure what happened to any of them. After the Nietzschean  
Revolution history stopped being recorded as a rule. Civilization fell  
apart, lives followed it.  
  
Then I come back to the same question again. Why me? Why do I deserve  
this second chance at life. I should have died with the rest of the  
Commonwealth, with my life there, my family, my friends, and Sara. Am I  
the right person to restore the Commonwealth? As I strong enough to see  
it through? Do I have the right to change the entire to universe to  
reflect a dream that's light burned dim centuries ago?   
  
I keep coming back to the same answer. Yes. Yes, I have to be strong  
enough. People have lived in fear and despair for 300 years, it's time  
they had some peace. I owe it to all the people who died in my time to  
see that our dream lives on. Yes, the Commonwealth wasn't perfect,  
nothing made by mortal hand will every be perfect, but it was much  
better then this. As long as I'm alive and in command of the Andromeda,  
that dream *will* live on, even if I die to make it happen. I only hope  
by that time, my new crew will care enough about my dream to carry on in  
my place. I trust that they will, one way or another.  
  
Andromeda. She's all I have left, she's all I know. My control died  
with the Commonwealth. I don't know this time, and it doesn't know me.  
Life is hard here, there is no law, no justice, only pain and  
loneliness. Now Rommie is the only one who cares about me, who will  
take care of me.  
  
I have a good feeling about this new crew. They have proven themselves  
to me already. I even feel close to some of them now, even though we've  
just met. Trance is strange to me. I don't know her race, but she is  
sweet, caring, and obviously a good person. Harper is friendly, a little   
unusual, but I think we'll get along ok. He did save me from Gerentex aboard the Maru, so I owed getting Andromeda to treat him. I don't know what I think of Rev since I didn't know any of his species in my time. He seems very enlightened, and wise, even though he looks like a cross between an ape and pig. However, everyone deserves the chance, and he has been kind to me since we met. I kinda hope Trance was kidding about me making the menu.   
  
The one I know I'll have trouble with is Captain Valentine. She doesn't like me, she keeps expecting me to pull something and won't give me her trust. I know, trust is earned, but the others seems to believe in what I'm trying to do. She seems to have a chip on her shoulder the size this sector. I know it will be a while before she will even give me the time of day, but we have to work together since she's my new first officer. I just hope that, I don't know what to hope for with these people. We all need to get to know each other, and trust will come after. In time, maybe she will see me as someone other them another obstacle in her path. I want to be friends with them all, if they'll left me.  
  
Then there's Tyr. A Nietzschean. One of those who took my world away and left me in this darkness, full of pain and guilt. I should hate him, want revenge, want him to pay for what his people did. For some reason, I don't. Revenge isn't my style, for one. He's also somewhat familiar to me. I understand Nietzscheans because of Rhade. He was my first office, but he was also my friend and he was going to be my Best Man. I guess one reason I feel for Tyr is I see pain in his eyes equal to my own. We've both lost the only things in our lives that we cared about. We are both trying to rebuild that that was taken from us. We are both alone and lost.   
  
Lost. Is that what I am? Lost in this strange new world, with a whole new life that I didn't ask for. New people that depend on me and new purpose that is terrifies me. I am going to recreate the Commonwealth. Me. One who was once just one pebble in the stream, is going to become the one to create ocean. There will be many obstacles, many people will oppose us, and other will hurt. I have to believe that in the end, it will be worth it. Strange, I know I die, I can feel it. I don't know when or how, but I feel it coming. I guess I'll just have to live until it occurs and hope my crew will pick up where I left off.   
  
For now, I have to be strong. For them, for Andromeda, and most of all, for myself. Maybe I can draw on some of Captain Valentine's contempt for me. That's not fair really. I'm sure she's a very thoughtful, caring, and kind person when you get to know her. I hope she lets me know the real her, from the crew she put together, and the family relationships I see there, she must be incredible. I look forward to her showing me that part of her personality. Well, all in good time and I guess, time, is one thing I do have lots of although I don't know why.   
  
THE END, for now.  
  
  
  



End file.
